II.

In my wonderment, I consider many of the things that most people do, but it’s different I think. Very different. I guess I just want to understand, to know what it is that I want to know. But the difficulty is in that I don’t actually know what it is that I want to know. I mean, I guess that what I want to know is how to live and experience this world in a way that I’m not wasting my time. At most, I’ll get what, maybe a hundred years?—What is a hundred years?—But how do I use that time? It’s hard to say, I think. It’s a good start to be able to comprehend that time, but it’s also a curse. To know that your time to live is so short, but to not understand how to use that time. To want, as desperately as I do, to use my time here for both the good of myself and others. Although I believe my primary purpose is to do my best to enjoy myself, it’s also important that I do what I can to help others and contribute to this world in whatever ways I can. It’s just frustrating, to realize how quickly time winds down. I’m not sure what I should be doing, I just hope to find out soon enough so that this frustration doesn’t continue forever.

Peace,
Justin